The Power of Forgiveness 18-08-2019
The Power of Forgiveness (2 Samuel 19) Luke 15: 20 – 32; John 20: 19 – 23 Can you imagine a world where every person, every community, nation and tribe work on payback? Can you imagine a world that harbours every grudge and grievance and demands justice? Justice without mercy is not true justice, it’s just payback. Payback emerges out of the wells of anger and revenge. On the other hand mercy – kindness and forbearance – springs from the waters of love and humility. Forgiveness and mercy offer us a way that allows relationships to start again. Solzhenitsyn stated that our capacity for forgiveness distinguishes us from the animal world. I would say that to forgive or to apologise is the beginning of becoming truly human. In Shakespeare’s play the Merchant of Venice, Portia disguised as a lawyer, tells Shylock that justice without mercy is not justice. When Shylock asks Portia to explain why he should show mercy to Antonio, Portia responds [Merchant of Venice, Act 4:1, lines 185f]: The quality of mercy is not strained, It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath. It is twice blest: It blesseth him that gives and him that takes. … Though justice be thy plea, consider this, That in the course of justice, none of us Should see salvation. We do pray for mercy. Portia reminds us that mercy and forgiveness benefits both the giver and the recipient. She points out that justice alone will not bring reconciliation. Shakespeare has spoken well through Portia. These truths are at the heart of the Gospel and the Bible. Jesus’ words to his disciples in the Upper Room on the evening of the day of the Resurrection are so relevant today. John tells us that Jesus breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” [Jn 20: 22,23. Cf. Mt 18:18] Now what does this mean – if you retain the sins of any, they are retained? Is it not true that when someone offends us we feel a degree of resentment if not anger? If we don’t forgive the person these feelings don’t disappear: they merely reside in the inner recesses of our mind. While we think that we have dealt with our feelings we have not. We have merely pushed them aside for the moment. Those feelings continue to quietly corrode our thinking and being. They can make us physically unwell and they certainly harm our spiritual well-being. In other words the sin is retained. Now if I have been offended by X and I don’t deal with it, a wall is erected between us. Every time I see X we may be quite sociable but we don’t get close and there is always that unspoken thing between us. You see, if I do not forgive X I retain X’s sin against me. That is what Jesus is getting at. I retain the wrong done to me and that forms a barrier. However if I forgive X then we are set free to relate to each other. Jesus’ commission is very relevant to both our private and public lives. So what is the forgiveness process? Firstly there are three recognitions that need to take place. Recognition one is that we hurt each other by our thoughtless remarks, selfish acts, our wilfulness, prejudices and fears. Something small can become something quite large. There are those hurts that are big, but even the little ones can grow. The ugliness of insults, our looking after ourselves at the expense of others and the greed that takes more than we’re entitled to causes deep rifts, hurts, and injustices. Unless we take time to forgive we will merely construct a deep pits of resentment and anger, shame and guilt. The hurt continues to grow. Recognition two is that we need help to forgive. Forgiveness is never easy, neither is it simple. We need to humbly admit that we need an exemplar: someone who can show us how to forgive. It is in Jesus that we find the compassion and humility that makes forgiveness possible. More importantly Jesus has already forgiven us and begun the process for us. Recognition three is knowing that retaining a feeling of unforgiveness is bad for us. When we have been hurt by someone’s thoughtless or selfish behaviour the hurt turns to anger and resentment. Such feelings become cancerous. They can ruin our well-being. Likewise when we have hurt and offended someone we experience guilt and shame. Shame and guilt affect the way we relate to people. Then we are the ones needing forgiveness. We need to forgive and to be forgiven for we are sinners. The steps of Forgiveness. The first step is to acknowledge the offence and its affect on us. Don’t pretend either to yourself or the person who has hurt you that it “doesn’t matter”. It does matter. The second step is to be prepared to forgive. This is the hardest step. The forgiveness begins with our willingness to forgive. I once prayed for three weeks everyday to forgive someone who had really angered me at work. I finally reached the point of forgiveness. There was never reconciliation as there was no opportunity to meet with the person. However I was set free from the anger and resentment and found I could relate in a meaningful way with that person. The willingness to forgive together with God’s help to forgive set me free. Thirdly, if there is the opportunity to do so, approach the other and tell them that their action has hurt you. If that person either denies it or defends their action listen, but avoid an argument. Just reiterate that you were offended by their action and leave it at that. If you have begun the forgiveness process in your own heart your anger and resentment will
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